Episode 30: More Than Words

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mission accomplished.  I finally finished up the last article I was writing for a new magazine called Indigo that I recently signed a contract with.  I emailed the copy to the editor. 

“He better not edit it too much either,” I said as I hit the send button.

I was about to take a nap when my phone rang, as it has a habit of doing as soon as I decide I want to close my eyes for 45 minutes to an hour.  I looked at the phone and saw that it was Terry so my initial irritation immediately turned into joy, topped off with a pose for the camera smile.

“Hey beautiful, what you up to?” said Terry.

“Hey baby, I just finished up some work and I’m about to just relax for a while,” I said.

“Oh okay, cool.  So did you think about what I asked you the other night?” he asked.

“Of course I did.  I can’t stop thinking about it.”  I told him with excitement escaping from me that I didn’t plan on showing.

“Sooo?” Terry asked.

I could tell he was smiling and I’m sure he knew I was grinning from ear to ear too.

“So, yes!” I said.

“Cool.  I can finalize the plans today and get our tickets,” he said.

“Terry, I can’t believe you are taking me to Tahiti,” I said “This is like a dream come true.  I mean Terry, the car, the gifts.  You’ve really been so good to me.  I can’t even begin to compete with you on that.”

“Baby, we’re not in competition.  I’m doing these things for you because I love you and I want to spend all the time I can with you.  Plus, we both need a vacation and I think we need to go on one,” he said.

“Terry, all I can say is…I’m there and one question?  When do we leave?”

We both laughed.

“Well, next Wednesday is our departure date so make sure you have all the sexy sundresses you want packed in your bag,” he said.

“Next Wednesday?” I asked “Are you serious?”

“Yes, next Wednesday and I am very serious.  You don’t have any conflicts with that do you?” asked Terry.

“Honey, if I did, I don’t now,” I replied “I’m making room for my baby, spending time with my man.”

“Look at you,” he said “girl you gonna make me steal you away for 2 weeks, not just one.”

“Terry, the trip is for a week? Aww, baby!” I screamed.

“Yes, I’m going to have you all to myself for 7 whole days.  I love you Syrah.  This is going to be the best vacation I ever had in my life.  I already know it,” said Terry.

“Aww, Terry I love you too sweetie and I know this is going to be the best vacation I’ve ever had,” I said “You sure know how to make a girl feel loved.”

“How about I make you feel loved tonight by taking you out to dinner?” he asked.

“You know what?  How about I make you feel loved by cooking dinner for you?” I replied. “How’s 7 o’clock?”

“Oh man!  I am there and I can’t wait,” said Terry.

Terry and I talked for a few more minutes and we hung up.  God, I love this man, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes to take in all the good news and think about what I was going to cook for dinner.  Whatever I came up with was going to be good. 

“I am going to Tahiti!” I said out loud and smiled.

I was beginning to learn Terry’s love language.  He is definitely one who shows his love and care by giving gifts.  With him, he has to do something for you to make you smile, cause you to just be happy and erupt with joy.  I loved that about him.  He was not only a giving man but a man of his word.  I could trust that he will do what he says he will.  Truly his love for me was more than words.

Click Here To Watch Video--> More Than Words - Extreme
Photo: www.sfweekly.com

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

Episode 29: I Can’t Stop Lovin You

  

It was a beautiful thing to drive my brand new Mercedes.  Terry just kept watching my reaction and it seemed to make him beam with delight as he smiled every few minutes, then shook his head at my animation about the car.  This was truly one of the best things that ever happened to me!  It was almost like I was dreaming, but it was real and this time I didn’t pinch myself because I didn’t want to snap out of it anyway.

We drove with the top down and sailed down I-20, headed toward Glenwood Avenue.  The area on Glenwood had been revitalized in the past few years and it was a cozy, little neighborhood spot.  The newly constructed four story townhomes towered over us with elegance and the community was distinguished by the brick structures.  The great dining, eclectic shops, and friendly ambience made it one of Terry’s favorite spots to chill so we made our way to Vino Libro.

I parked on the side of the street, almost in front of the restaurant.  It was a crisp, clear night.  The weather wasn’t too cool or too humid either outside.  The sky glimmered with it’s diamonds and the moon was full and surrounded by winking stars that seemed brighter than usual on that night.  Terry opened my door and gave me a big hug and kiss.

“Terry, I love this car.  You won’t be getting this back unless you repossess it from me in the middle of the night,” I said.

“I told you it was yours to keep Baby, if you want it.  Plus, I knew you’d love it anyway.  I almost kept it for myself, but I said naw, I shouldn’t be that selfish,” said Terry as he laughed.

“Whatever then,” I said “You need to stop.”

We went inside Vino Libro and a jazz band was playing.  The atmosphere was light and inviting.  Candles lit on every table seemed to calm the air and mellow the souls of all surrrounded by their glow.  A few guys sat at the bar and a couple of ladies were ordering drinks and wine.  Terry asked the waiter if we could get a table outside.  I shook my head in agreement and watched the band play.  They sounded really good.  The place wasn’t packed to maximum capacity, but we wanted to enjoy each other and talk.  So outside was a good spot to relax and chill.  The waiter brought us a table and arranged it outside on the sidewalk and it was an excellent choice. 

I ordered a cranberry juice and Terry got us some chicken quesadillas.

“I really like the homes they’ve built here in this area,” I said.  “I’d like to know what they look like inside.”

“Maybe we can come back tomorrow or something and take a look,” said Terry “They are nice, good location too.  You wouldn’t mind moving out here would you?”

I looked at Terry and wondered what was going throught his ever so thoughtful mind.  This man would probably buy me the townhouse and move all of my stuff in two hours while I was at the gym or something.

“I sure wouldn’t mind.  It is a good area, close to downtown, friendly with the neighborhood feel.  Plus, you have to have a little loot to stay out here.  I’m sure they run at least $400,000 and up,” I replied.

We talked at ate and did some people watching along with laughing at some crazy outfits people actually wore out of the house.  One crew of women we saw needed 2 tickets each from the fashion police.  A couple of them needed to be arrested.  The funny thing was, you could tell they thought they looked super fine.  The air of confidence surrounding them was outrageous!  For example, one had on blue, no royal blue leather pants, a white tank top, and some bright yellow patton leather pumps.  Then she had her hair dyed red, yes Kool-Aid red.  Terry said she looked like a box of crayons.  We laughed so hard.  I was crying.  That was too funny.

I looked over at my new Mercedes and couldn’t stop smiling.  Wow!  This was really happening to me.  I have been found by a wonderful, not to mention good looking man, with a real job, who actually thinks about me, not himself.  I was truly beginning to love Terry and all I can say is, it felt good.

Click Here To See Video–> I Can’t Stop Lovin You: Kem

Photo: www.kemmusic.com

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

Episode 28: Heaven Sent

Terry was on his way to pick me up so I wanted to speed up my beautifying process.  I loosened my hair and let it go free, natural, and wild.  Terry liked it like that.  I was putting the last few bobby pins in my hair when the phone rang.  Of course it was Terry.

“Hey Baby!” said Terry with a little extra excitement in his voice.

“Hey Handsome!” I said matching the happy tone.

“I’m at the gate.  Let me in girl,” he said “I can’t wait to see you!”

“Can’t wait to see to see you either.  Access is granted,” I said as I pushed the number key to let him in.

I had decided earlier to create a relaxing mood and atmosphere for my man, so I had my candles lit, blinds closed for minimum light, lighting just a little low, and the Merlot was chilling in my silver ice bucket.  I had it all set up on the bar, ready to go.

I peeked out of my bedroom window right quick and I didn’t see Terry’s Navigator nor did I see the Maserati.  I did see a nice black Mercedes SL 600 convertible parking next to my little Jetta though.  Terry gets out of the car and reaches over the seat for something.

“What in the world?” I thought to myself as I headed for the door.  “This man has gone and bought another car!”

The doorbell rang so I answered it, all excited, and trying to compose myself.  I admit.  I was so happy to see him.  We both had been so busy during the week and it was time for us to give each other some real attention.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“Like you don’t know who it is,” said Terry.

We both laughed as I opened the door.

“Hey you!” I said.

“Hey, Sweetie!  I missed you girl!” said Terry as he handed me a bouquet of tulips, my favorite flower.  He was so thoughtful.  I was still wondering if he was for real or not, especially when he did things like that.

“Aw, Terry, you are just so sweet.  Thank you Boo! I love tulips!” I said smiling and smelling my tulips.

I put those tulips down and gave Terry a loving, warm, hug and he took over with a ‘I miss you’ kiss.  If he wasn’t holding me up, I would’ve been on the floor because this man still made me feel so light when he kissed me, you could knock me over with a feather.  When was I going to get over that?

I had the stereo playing a CD with some good songs on it.  It was playing “At Your Best,” the version by Aaliyah.  Terry was already pouring us a little glass of wine as I put my tulips in a vase.

“So what’s the plan? What are we doing tonight Mr. Taylor?” I asked.

“Well after we finish this glass of wine here, I thought we’d get another glass at Vino Libro,” he said “And we can get a bite to eat there too.  Is that cool?”

“Yeah, sounds good to me,” I said sipping on my Merlot.

“Plus, I have a surprise for you too,” he said. “You’re gonna love this too Syrah.” he said, smiling and really excited too.

“Really? What is it?” I asked “Now you have to tell me since you mentioned it. You know how I am.”

“Naw, can’t tell you.  It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?” he answered.

“Okay Terry.  I guess I have to go along with you for now,” I said sounding slightly disappointed.

“I knew you would,” said Terry as he kissed me on the forehead.

We sat for a while, just talking, laughing and listening to the music.  Terry just held me close and we finished up our glass of wine.

Of course I was still thinking about the surprise, trying not to mention it again.  The radio was playing Keyshia Cole’s “Heaven Sent” and I was singing along too.  I loved this song.  It reminded me of Terry so much.

“Okay here’s the surprise,” said Terry.

“I looked at him all excited, already smiling.

“You know how you’ve been having some issues with your car and you said you wanted to sell it, right?” he said.

I shook my head yes.

“Well, I got you another one, that Mercedes you saw a few weeks ago that you said you liked,” said Terry “And Baby, it is so nice.  I drove it here.  You’re gonna love it!”

I looked at Terry in awe.  Did I just hear him correctly? I thought to myself.

“Oh my God, Terry, you got me a Mercedes?” I screamed with joy “I can’t believe it! Oh yes, I can believe it,” I said with excitement as I hugged him and kissed him about to knock over the empty wine glasses.

Terry was smiling and pulled out the keys.

“But Terry, I shouldn’t accept a car from you.  I mean…I don’t know what I mean,” I said.

“Well, Syrah I want you to have it.  I tell you what.  Why don’t you just use it until you sell yours,” he suggested “Would that make you feel like you can accept a blessing like this.”

“Terry, of course, I can accept it.  Thank you sooo much!  Why did you do that?” I asked.

“Because I care about you and I want you to be able to drive in peace, not worry about something going wrong with your car,” he said “And plus, I love you like that.”

“Terry, this has to be the best thing anyone has ever done for me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I said as I hugged and kissed him again.

“Come on, let’s go for a ride in your new car,” he said.

We blew out all the candles and he handed me the keys.  This was wonderful!  I was so happy. 

Terry had to be sent from heaven.  Who else but God would send me a man like him? 

 

 

Click Here To See Video –> Heaven Sent: Keyshia Cole

Photo: www.mtv.com

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

 

Episode 27: Take a Bow

Mina went on to tell me how Ned constantly asked her for money and she couldn’t let this fool use her anymore, especially since she found out he was doing more than smoking weed and drinking.  Mina said she and Ned went out to a restaurant one night and ran into some interesting people who were not only high, but they actually invited her and Ned to a “smoke out party”.  One of the guys pulled out a little bag of white powder that was definitely not baking soda and didn’t smell like something you’d sprinkle on a baby’s bottom either. To top it all off, Ned told her he’d meet her back at the apartment and left with his crew.  When he came back, he was stoned.  She said she knew something wasn’t right when Ned’s eyes stared that bag down like a hawk does its prey.  Mina said she found a letter hanging out of Ned’s pocket so she pulled it out and read it as Ned lay passed out on the couch.  In the letter Ned’s ex, whose name is Doretha, was telling him how sorry she was and apologizing to him because she knew he was disgusted with her.  She then went on to say she’d never had any positive test results for anything, other than precancerous cells in a pap smear.  She wrote that she looked all night on the internet for illnesses and diseases, but couldn’t find anything that matched or looked like her symptoms, which were some dry places in her inner thighs and a rash around her mouth.  She said she found out that she had hepatitis and Ned should get tested because they both did heroin together and she was going to get help, and get in a drug treatment program. She went on to write that she was calling the doctor for her results about the mouth and booty rashes.

“Now what does that sound like to you Syrah?” asked Mina.
“Sounds like old girl has diaper rash from wearing some tight drawz!” I said as Mina and I burst into laughter.

“Naw, seriously, sounds like she’s talking about being concerned she has an STD Mina,” I said.

“Well, that’s what I thought, but when I confronted Ned about it, first he accused me of violating his privacy by reading the letter which was hanging out of his pocket about to drop on the floor anyway.  If he wasn’t doped up, he would’ve known I had it.  He didn’t know until I told him that.  Girl, do you believe this fool?  Then he said this was about a personal, serious concern about her having cancer so I should stop snooping and letting the devil put things in my mind to mess with me,” Mina said.

“Now how can this be about cancer when she said in the letter plainly that she knows he is disgusted with her.  Now why would he be disgusted if the woman thought she had cancer?  Oh, and I forgot to tell you too, she said in that letter that she had not been with anyone else since Texas. Why would she tell him about something dealing with sex if it wasn’t about that?”

“Mina, Ned is a stupid, irresponsible, lazy, deadbeat dad, lying, leeching, pus filled serpent, going to hell with gasoline drawz on for the way he has treated you and for how ungrateful he is to you for the past few months you’ve stood by him when he quit his job as a firefighter and even when business deal after business deal failed.  You know when we talked the last time about the last business deal that went sour, I sensed Ned messed that up himself.  His mouth is awful and he doesn’t know how to talk to people.  He is such a know it all that he doesn’t know anything at all.  You know what I mean?  He could’ve just been a man about it, not insult your intelligence with that lame, devil got you snooping diversion.  So, he’s tries to put it off on you instead of having to man up when he got busted.  He deserves an award for the role he played, a standing ovation.  You tried girl, close the door and let him be on the other side when it slams.  He is not good enough for you anyway.  He’s a loser in the worst way and will continue to fail and be a loser as long as he is treating people the way he treated you and probably, what’s her name, Doretha too.  And another thing, the devil didn’t put anything in your mind, Mina.  That was God revealing and exposing Ned for who he really is, his lack of character too and God allowed you to see this for yourself,” I said.

“I know Syrah.  I know.  I’m done and I close that door.  It kind of hurt a little but I knew it was coming.  As a matter of fact, I was praying for something to change and since he didn’t, my change is moving on with my life without him.  To tell you the truth Syrah, I realized, I never loved him.  Plus, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  Funny, huh?” she said.

“No, that was just you guarding your heart from what you knew deep inside was not for you.  So now, the door is open for someone new, someone good, someone who gives and doesn’t take, someone who is honest, not a deadbeat and a liar.  Be glad you got out now because there are probably more women you didn’t even know about too.  He’s not a man.  He’s still a boy.  He’s still immature and doing stupid things, just like little boys do.  Let him go back to living with his grandmama and all her cats and beg her for food,” I said.

“Yeah, I know.  To tell you the truth, I haven’t fooled around with Ned for the past 6 months because I knew he was out there.  We broke up long time ago, just kind of letting it linger because I thought we were friends, but obviously not.  I went to my doctor just in case and I’m clear as far as any disease though.  So I’m happy about that.  Maybe that dumb heffa did have diaper rash!” Mina said as we laughed again.

Mina and I sat and talked and laughed.  She was a strong minded, good woman, reminded me of myself.  I have lived through that same story Mina had just told me so I knew exactly what she was going through.  Mina was going to be alright and I could tell her that and know for sure because I was alright too.  We even prayed and I asked God to send her the man that was just right for her.  Mina was such a sweet young woman, with a heart of gold, like me.  I wanted her to meet her “Terry” too.  And I felt like soon she would because she had closed the door on the wrong man and opened the door for the right one to come into her life.  She’d be coming back in no time to tell me what a wonderful, good, handsome, loving, kind, giving, employed, non drug using man she had met.  Soon, very soon.

Click Here To See Video–> Take A Bow: Rihanna

Photo: www.defjam.com

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

Episode 26: Bruised But Not Broken

Someone was knocking at the door when I realized, I must have drifted off to sleep just that quick.

“Syrah, it’s just me, Mina from next door,” I heard a voice say.

I rubbed my eyes as I got up from my big comfy couch and let her in.

“What’s going on Mina?” I asked as I yawned and stretched on my way back to my warm spot on the couch.

“I need to talk. I guess I’m not feeling too good today, a little down about things. Girl, me and Ned are over, done, out of commission, through,” she said sadly as I looked up and noticed a somber look on her face.

“Aw, Mina, I’m sorry you’re feeling bad about that, but I promise, you’ll be okay. You know what? This too shall pass, trust me. It might not feel so good right now, but you’ll be alright. This is not the end of you. You’re bruised, but not broken. This is your opportunity to either lay down and die or learn from this, live on to the next level, a better place in your life and do things differently when the right man for you comes to you. The little bit of hurt and pain you feel is going to fade away soon, baby, sooner than you think,” I said, hoping to give her some comfort.

She nodded yes to agree as tears began to roll down her cheeks. I gave her a few tissues.

“Okay now Mina, after today, I don’t want you to keep crying over this. You know why? All this means is that you’re about to meet somebody that runs circles around Ned, with his leeching self. So he had to go! You deserve a man better than him anyway. Honey, you can do bad by yourself. Trust me I know. You did all you could do to help him girl, and you didn’t need to be supporting a grown man like that anyway,” I said.

“Yeah, I know Syrah. Do you know this broke joke got mad at me when I looked at him crazy after he asked me for $20? I admit I gave him the stupid look and went off because I was tired and I told him he needed to get off his behind and go find himself a real job, stop acting like he has a problem working for people, like he’s too good. At some point, it should have registered in his mind that in life you do what you have to do to get where you want to be. So if that means getting a job until you can get on your feet as an entrepreneur then you do that. He is so selfish girl. He wouldn’t even work for the sake of his kids. I mean could you just get a job because you know your kids need things like food, clothes, lunch money? Do it for them. I saw how self absorbed, self righteous and self centered he is. No one and nothing matters to him but himself. Pitiful. Do you know he told me he didn’t want to work? Yeah, well me neither but I don’t want to be hungry and homeless either so, I work! Sometimes, God wants you to be faithful to what belongs to another man before He gives you your own. Instead all Ned seemed to do was take from me, never giving back anything but criticism of course, criticized my cooking, criticized my hair, criticized my driving, criticized anything about me he could find. Not once did I talk down to him even though in my mind I was thinking he was a sorry excuse for a man, not to mention a deadbeat dad for not taking care of his kids. Those boys deserve a better father. I guess I felt kind of sorry for him too, really. It seemed like nothing would work out for him with the business. He got ripped off twice and lost out because he wasn’t doing things right, not communicating in the proper tone with people he was doing business with. He has this way of talking to people like they are the biggest idiots and people sense that arrogance and didn’t want to work with him. Too many business people we met just didn’t call him back, canceled meetings, or didn’t show up at all. That’s funny because when I went to meet with some of his potential clients, they showed up, talked and it was cool until he started talking to them. So it had to be him. Girl, he has a lot to learn or he will continue to have problems. But I know he’ll never get another dime or another $20 from me. Half of the time he was buying weed with it, like I didn’t know. A shame. You know, I believe God was trying to tell him something though, like you are out of order. Get a job first so I can teach you some things about business, communication, and respect,” she said as she vented about Ned.

“I hear that,” I replied.

I listed as Mina talked and I could tell she was just fine. I was glad that she was able to see Ned was not the man she needed in her life. How many times do we as women “help a brother out” and end up bruised and taken for granted? Way too many. But I can say, it has made us stronger, wiser, and better because we know how to forgive, heal, and move on to someone better, who is destined to come find that good thing within us. Mina was knocked down today, but I could see her getting up and dusting herself off at that very moment. She kept talking and I kept listening. What she told me happened between her and Ned that ultimately caused her to sever all ties with him was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Click Here To See Video–> Bruised But Not Broken: Joss Stone

Photo: www.last.fm

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

Episode 25: Can You Believe

After I got home to shower and change, I sat down on the couch. I contemplated drinking a glass of wine I won in a drawing. It seemed like I was always winning something.

About 6 years ago, I won the car I was currently driving. I went to a Volkswagen car dealership searching for a used car I could afford and they were having a “Drive me” celebration and it was their grand opening too. I put my name in the drawing to win the car and actually joked with the car salesman that he didn’t need to try to talk me into buying anything because I was going to win that little white Volkswagen Jetta. To my surprise, as I was about to make a deal on a used Jetta, they made an announcement that they were going to reveal the winner of the car. It seemed like the whole dealership got quiet.

“Ladies and gentlemen, you must be present to win this spanking brand new Volkswagen. So without further ado… Drum roll please…and the winner is Syrah Sims! Come over to the ‘Drive Me’ tent and get your new ride! Syrah Sims, you have 10 minutes to come and claim your car.”

I screamed like I never heard myself scream before. I’m not the type to even react like that but, I felt like God was doing this for me because He knew I needed a car but, didn’t want a car payment. However, I couldn’t afford to buy one with cash at that time. I was jumping up and down. I grabbed the salesmen by the neck and forced him to rejoice with me. Then I kissed the man on the lips. As a matter of fact, he probably liked that, which explains why he kept calling me weeks after I had won the car.

Anyway, the point is, I won the car and had not bought one since and was not planning on buying one either. So I enter drawings and buy raffle tickets whenever someone asks me. And I always won! My wine was no different, won that too.

Instead, I decided to call Terry and tell him about Crazy Mareesa.

“Hey there! Are you busy?” I asked.

“What’s up? Naw I’m actually on my way back to the office. Everything ok?”

“Yeah, it’s cool. I just had to tell you about my interesting meeting today after my workout at the gym.” I said.

“Oh yeah, what happened?” Terry asked.

“Well, I was threatened by a woman today and she told me to keep my distance from her man that I was flirting with. Could you believe that?”

“Girl, who you been flirtin with besides me?” asked Terry in a joking way.
“That’s the point. It is you! Terry, I met your old acquaintance, Mareesa,” I revealed.

“What? You have got to be messing with me Syrah. Then again, that broad is a head case, I mean she real dingy and crazy!” he said “Well what did you do?”

I told Terry what happened and about the words exchanged between me and Ding Bat.

“Dang, I’m sorry about that Baby, but I let her go before I even asked you out,” he said “But you let me know if you ever she ever tries that again, and I’ll take care of it. I don’t like that drama stuff Syrah, and no woman is gonna be approaching my lady like that with some nonsense. I don’t want her.”

We talked for a few more minutes and Terry reassured me that this was something I should never had to deal with again. He thanked me for being me and not quick to assume Mareesa was telling the truth at any point.

“That’s one of the things I really like about you Syrah. You didn’t come at me all wrong about this and you didn’t accuse me of any wrongdoing. I appreciate that so much,” said Terry.

“I don’t know what to say Terry. That’s just who I am. I had a question in my mind about it for a few seconds but all I can say is I trust you and I will trust you until you give me a reason not,” I said.

“You won’t ever have a reason not to trust me Syrah because I won’t give you one. How about I swing by a little earlier than we planned and we can have a glass of that wine I know you’re sittin there thinking about opening without me,” said Terry.

How did he know that? I laughed and so did he.

“You got me on that one, but I’ll hold off, keep it chilled, and wait for you,” I said.

Terry and I hung up and I put the wine in the fridge to chill for a few hours. I turned the stereo on pulled out my laptop to start writing some. After about 3 minutes of looking at the blank, white screen, I set the laptop aside and just listened. The radio was playing a song by Robin Thicke called Can You Believe and I just closed my eyes and listened. I felt like I won another drawing. Yes, I can believe.

Click Here to See Video –> Robin Thicke: Can You Believe

Photo: www.robinthicke.com

© 2008 by Satirah. All rights reserved.

Episode 24: Gettin’ In The Way

I had a training appointment at LA Fitness with my trainer, Frederick so I headed for the gym.  Frederick was his real name, but Narika and I called him Fred the Fitness Nazi.  He loved to put us through what seemed like crazy, almost unbearable, about to pass out on the floor workouts that made sure we were drenched in sweat.  So much for trying to look cute when we went there.  Narika swore up and down she couldn’t stand him and she was going to stop training with him because he was crazy but she kept setting appointments.  He couldn’t be that crazy if she was still signing up every week.  But I sensed she was just finding herself digging The Fitness Nazi and she even admitted she would go out on a date with him if he asked.  I thought about maybe encouraging that and see what happened.  I got there right on time.

I felt great even though The Fitness Nazi pushed me way pass what I thought was my max.  He had me running around the gym, which I hated, and doing lunges until my legs felts like rubber bands. 

This man has got to be insane, I thought to myself. 

“Go ahead and give me 20 push-ups,” said Fred.

“You’re mighty quiet today Syrah.  Everything alright?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m good.  I just think it’s time for me to stop trying to fight the workout and let it work for me like it should.  You know?” I said “Plus, I know you appreciate my cooperation instead of whining and attempts to negotiate with the number of reps you tell me to do.”

“I like that.  That’s right.  Don’t fight the workout,” he said as he instructed me to run one more lap around the gym.  I gave him a mean look and cut my eyes but proceeded to get moving.  I managed to finish my “run of shame” around the gym and the workout without whining or complaining.  Fred even said he was proud of me for not whining like I usually did. 

It felt too good to whine and complain about the crazy workout sessions. 

I set up my next appointment with the Fitness Nazi and was out the door when I heard a voice say

“Excuse me, Syrah.”

I turned around and a woman with a worn out curly weave pony tail was standing there with her hand on her hip.  She was lighter skinned and probably in her mid 30s.  She had a sour look on her face and I had no clue who she was. 

“Yes, can I help you?” I asked.
“Yeah, you need to stop flirting with my man,” she said “You never know who’s watching you and I know it takes two, but you need to keep your distance.  I’m being nice now but, later on I will be a bitch about it.” 

“First of all, I don’t know you and who is your ‘man’?  Because if your so called man is flirting with me, he’s obviously not your man.  And another thing, if you want to be a bitch about whatever don’t wait until later, do you now,” I snapped.

“I’m Mareesa and I’m talking about Terry Taylor,” she said.

My mind was racing after she said that.  Was Terry a nominee for liar of the year?  Or was this heffa trying to get in my way?

 

It seemed like instantly I knew what this was about deep in my heart of hearts.

 

Click Here to See Video–>  Gettin in the Way - Jill Scott

Photo: www.last.fm

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

 

Episode 23: Joy

I was finishing up an article for my regular column in Essence Magazine and it was a snap for me.  I didn’t have to take any breaks and I was able to also submit a weekly article I was writing for the Atlanta Journal Constitution.  I had several writing assignments going on and those were just a few.  The day was going very well and it was almost time for lunch.  I thought about Terry and how I was glad he was there when Kevin got the bright idea to come over.  Terry took care of me and for the first time in a long time, I let someone do that.

I decided it was time for a well deserved break so I went into the kitchen to make me some hot green tea.  I had a session booked with my trainer so I went to change into my gym clothes while the tea brewed.

I turned on the radio and rummaged through my gym clothes until I found my shorts and a t-shirt.

A feeling of joy came all over me when Terry came across my mind again.  I smiled to myself as I thought about how good he smelled and the way he looked at me with those piercing brown eyes.  I could hear him say he loved me over and over again.  When Terry said he loved me, those words wiped out all the hateful, hurtful ones Kevin yelled out.

I put on my sneakers and headed back to the kitchen because the tea pot was singing.  I was singing too, making up my own words to the song on the radio.

My phone was ringing yet again and I answered as I sipped a little tea.

“Hello”

“Hey Baby, how’s everything going?  Writing today?” asked Terry.

“Hey you!  Everything’s good. I’m done with my first set of writing for the day so I’m happy about that,” I said “How’s it going with you?”

“I’m good too, just got a new account so I’m happy about that and just wanted to call you and tell you we gotta celebrate.  Syrah, this account is huge!  Sweetie, it is my biggest account ever!” he said.

“Wow, Terry, sounds like you’re having a fantastic day!  I’m happy for you honey,” I said.

“Thank you Baby!  Listen, you got a minute to talk?” he asked.

“Sure, what’s on your mind?” I asked him wondering what he wanted to talk about.

“I meant what I said Syrah.  I know you probably weren’t expecting me to say it.  Truth is, I never planned on saying it either but I did and I meant it.  I didn’t say that I loved you because I wanted to shut your ex up.  I said it because I do love you and I don’t ever want you to doubt that.” said Terry.

“Terry, I, I don’t know what to say,” I said.

“You don’t have to say anything Sweetie.  You’ll know what to say when the time comes and you’re ready,” he said.

“Terry, you just know how to make me smile.  I feel overjoyed and you’ve made me so happy,” I said.

“That’s what I want to keep doing, making you happy,” said Terry “Well, Baby, I have one last client to meet with for lunch.  So, why don’t I call you later and maybe we can meet up for a glass of wine or something if you’re not busy.”

“I would really like that,” I said “Call me later.”

“I will.  Talk to you later Sweetie,” said Terry.

We hung up and I sat on the bed, then laid back and looked up at the ceiling.

The radio was playing Blackstreet.  I hadn’t heard this song in a long time.  It was called Joy, exactly what I was feeling.  I closed my eyes and listened.  “Goodbye loneliness and so long to my heartache, now that joy has taken over, and decided to stay.”

Click Here –>See Video: Joy - Blackstreet

Photo: www.thugradio.net

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

Episode 22: Love Saw It

“Terry, it’s my ex-boyfriend, Kevin. I can’t believe he came over here. He called me a few days ago. I told him very clearly not to call me anymore. He’s not getting it. And Terry, I haven’t seen or heard from him in over 2 years before he called me out of the blue,” I said.

“You know you don’t have to explain anything to me, Syrah but he’s not going to be coming over here to harass you or stalk you either,” said Terry “Is he still out there?”

“I don’t know,” I said “Why don’t I just go answer the door and let him know not to come back here again or maybe I should call the police.”

“Naw, you don’t have to call the police. I’m here so, you go check him at the door and let me know if you need me.”

I went back to the door and the doorbell rang again.

“Who is it?” I asked even though I already knew. “Why is he being a bug-a-boo?” I said to myself.

“Syrah, aw sweetie, did I wake you up? It’s me Kev.” he said.

“No you didn’t wake me up,” I said as I slightly opened the door. “Kevin, what do you want? You can’t just come by my apartment like this. I told you I was not interested in any kind of relationship, or friendship, or communication with you ever again. If you come by here again, I’m going to get a restraining order against you. I’m not playing. This is not cool.”

“Baby I said I was sorry and I’m ready for us now. Please Syrah, I, I still love you. I want you to marry me. See I got this for you,” begged Kevin as he put his hand in his pocket.

Kevin pulled a small light turquoise Tiffany’s ring box out of his pocket and opened it. Inside was a sparkling, beautiful round diamond solitaire ring that looked like it must’ve been 4 or 5 carats!

“Dang that’s a big diamond,” I thought.

“Oh my God, Kevin, I’m really flattered and this is really beautiful, but I can’t accept that,” I said with concern in my voice. “I’m not in love with you anymore. I don’t feel the same and I’m in a relationship with someone I really like and care about a lot. Please leave Kevin. Please”

“Baby, everything okay?” Terry asked as he walked behind me and put his hands around my waist.

“Oh, so he’s the reason why, huh?” said Kevin.

“Yes, and that’s what I told you Kevin, but you refuse hear that,” I said.

“You are so stupid Syrah. Do you see this ring? This is what you always wanted, the same one we looked at when I took you to Tiffany’s. I don’t even know why I wasted my time coming here. I was trying to help you out, but if you want to be a dumb b*&$h then cool.”

“Man, get the hell out of here!” Terry said in a voice I’d never heard him use before.

Then he stepped in front of me and pushed Kevin down outside of the door. The ring fell on the ground and Kevin angrily snatched it up.

“Man I better not ever see you back around Syrah again,” said Terry.

Kevin got up. His eyes were bloodshot red. His face looked different to me, dark, and downright evil. He didn’t look like himself and it was almost like he was another person.

“I don’t want you, you nappy headed b^%$h. You ain’t never gonna find nobody to love you. This fool ain’t never gonna love you. You ain’t gone do nothing but get played cause you stupid like that,” said Kevin as he kind of laughed “I was just gonna hit the skins for a few weeks anyway, take my ring back while your knotty head was sleep and leave.” He laughed again.

Terry stepped outside the door with his fist raised and made a motion to punch Kevin’s teeth out. However, Kevin ran, I mean scattered quick, like a roach when the lights get cut on. He got in his car and squealed out of the parking lot.

Kevin’s words were indeed hurtful to me but I didn’t cry this time. The last time I did.

“Baby are you okay?” asked Terry as he hugged me with a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t you even dare believe what that clown said because Syrah, I already love you and I’ll never treat you the way he did or talk to you or about you like that. You are special to me and I love everything about you, even this beautiful wild, curly head of yours. I’m serious. I mean what I say. Do you believe me?” He smiled a warm, loving, sincere smile.

Terry looked at me and I kept my head buried in his chest for a while. I did believe him and I cried.

“Why did I have to start crying?” I thought to myself. “Because he loves you and you know it.” I silently answered back.

“Yes, Terry I believe you,” I said.

Terry lifted my head and we walked back into the apartment and sat on the couch.

“I’m sorry Terry. I didn’t know he was that crazy,” I said still sounding a little teary eyed.

“It’s not your fault sweetheart so you don’t have to apologize,” he said. “And I was thinking maybe I should stay here tonight just in case he decides to be a true dummy and come back to stalk you. I mean, I can sleep on the couch, no problem. I just want to make sure my baby is safe.”

I shook my head to give consent.

He pulled me closer and put his arm around me again and kissed me on the forehead, then ever so sweetly on the lips.

“This man is really serious,” I thought to myself. “Thank you Lord!”
“I want you to stay and I just want you to hold me like this all night,” I said.

That night Terry held me all night just as I requested. That night I saw a change in my heart. For the first time in a long time, I allowed my heart to believe a man and trust him to be there for me, protect me, and make me feel secure. Love saw it and made me change.

Click Here–> Listen: Love Saw It - Karyn White & Babyface

Photos: www.music.yahoo.com

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

Episode 21: Let’s Chill

Terry and I ended up at my apartment after dinner.  We were enjoying each other’s company so much we decided to just chill a little while longer.  Terry flipped through my 10 channels and elected to watch some reruns of Sanford & Son that I happened to catch on local television.  I warned him that I didn’t have cable or satellite.  He cracked a couple of jokes about my antenna and how I needed to put some aluminum foil on the ends to get the picture clearer.  I had not had cable for the past 3 years and I didn’t feel deprived.  I just didn’t watch television all that much and never bothered with the cable.  Plus, with the internet, I could watch CNN and entire television shows if I wanted to catch something only on cable, and that was a rare occurrence.

Fred had called Lamont a big dummy for the fifth time on the show when my doorbell rang.  It was almost 12:30am and I was surprised.  I thought maybe it was my neighbor Marie.  She was good for coming by to talk trash about her ex husband when he got on her nerves.

“Are you expecting someone?” Terry asked me.

“No, it might be my next door neighbor, Marie though.  She thinks it’s cool to come by here after she has had a few glasses of wine,” I said shaking my head.

I didn’t want to move.  I was snuggled in Terry’s arms and I had a warm, comfy, cozy spot created so I was delayed in answering the door.  I looked up at him briefly and he looked back down at me with his eyes stretched a little.

“You want me to get the door for you?” he asked.

“Naw, I’ll go.  I’m gonna look through the peephole and see who it is first,” I said “If it’s not Marie, maybe someone is just at the wrong door.”

“Okay. Cool,” Terry said.

I got to the door and looked through the peephole.  I heard my cell phone ringing at the same time, so I looked over at Terry.  He was still watching TV, shaking his head at the jokes going on.

I went back to the peephole and it certainly wasn’t someone at the wrong apartment door.  It was Kevin.  He had his cell phone to his ear so I figured he was probably calling me at the same time.  “Oh no he didn’t drag his raggedy behind over here,” I thought to myself.  I couldn’t believe he came by my apartment without an invitation.

“Everything okay Syrah?” Terry asked.

“Yeah,” I said softly as I walked back to the couch without even opening the door.

Click Here –> See Video: Let’s Chill - Guy

Photo: www.vh1.com

© 2008 by Satirah. All rights reserved.

Episode 20: Someone To Love

Terry picked me up for dinner and we had a wonderful time just talking and laughing.  It felt more like we’ve known each other for years.  He was so refreshing to have around me like a cool glass of iced lemon tea on a high humidity day.  I could breathe when I was with Terry and I let down a few of my walls.  I really felt like he did the same thing too.

“So I just want to make sure you’re all mine,” said Terry.

“Why Terry darling, whatever do you mean?” I asked with a southern drawl in my voice.

“Girl stop, you are a trip.  But seriously, I’m a one woman man Syrah and I’m not going to be able to see you with another man so I want to make sure I can have you all to myself,” he said “I guess what I’m saying is I want us to be a couple, an item, in an exclusive relationship.  That’s the phrase I was looking for.”

Terry seemed almost a little nervous, almost shy.  I could literally feel he was taking a chance and I got nervous myself.  That was a sweet, yet awkward moment and we both smiled trying to hide the unusual nervousness that came over us.

“I do too Terry.  I like you and I like spending time with you so are you my “manfriend” now?” I inquired.

“Yeah, and you’re my lady,” said Terry as he winked his eye at me.

Dang, this man is sexy, I was thinking to myself as I smiled at the sweet gesture.

“I’m just ready to settle down and have someone special in my life right now and I feel like we’re good together.  Plus, I’ve never met a woman like you and I’d be a fool to let you get away from me Syrah.  I want to be in a committed relationship with no games.  I’m tired of drama and I’m ready for real love.  I’m ready for someone to love.  So if you can be straight with me about things, I’ll be straight up with you and we can do this. You know?”

“I know what you mean Terry.  I’ve been through so much and I’m ready for a real man without the shenanigans,” I said “To make it even better, I’m having the time of my life with you.  You’re such a cool dude and you’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”

We laughed at the cool dude comment.

“I’m a cool dude, huh.  Well, you know what baby, I’m yours.  I’m your cool dude then,” said Terry.

I think by this time I was trying to fan away tears of joy.  The way Terry looked at me with those sincere, big, brown eyes was enough for me to believe that every word he was saying was true and real.  It was like I could see into his soul and feel that he meant it.  It was like he was comforting me and reassuring me without even trying.  That was good for me because over the years and being in messed up relationships, I lost my ability to fully trust.  This time I was going to have to do something better and something different in order to get different, better results.  Terry made it easy for me by not only his words but his actions and I knew this was a man I could trust with my very life.  I finally had someone to love me and someone I could trust my heart with and truly love.

Click Here–> Video: Someone To Love - Jon B. featuring Babyface

Photo: www.jonbmusic.com; www.islandrecords.com

© 2008 by Satirah. All rights reserved.

Episode 19: With You

Brunch was quite enlightening. We talked about Narika’s nightmare of a break up and how Rayshon was still apologizing and in denial about being hugged up and french kissing a man! He even asked Narika to keep that on the hush and not tell people. Of course it was too late for the request because that wasn’t happening. Plus, B got it recorded not only in pictures, but video on his phone. Narika said she was contemplating putting it on You Tube. We all laughed but I had to tell her not to do it, which she probably will anyway. Kailee was just trying to maintain and she was happy she met her new beau, Neil. Bianca told us all about how she was still in Fantasy Land with Brock and that marriage was work, but the good outweighed the bad. I told them about the mysterious phone call I got from Kevin and how I had to tell him to walk, again.

My phone rang as I left J. Christopher’s after the question and answer session/catching up brunch with Narika, Kailee, and Bianca.

“Songbird,” said Terry.

“Hi Terry, how are you today?” I said.

“I’m good, but I’m even better now that I’m talking to you,” he said.

“So what’s going on? How was church?” I asked.

“Church was real good. I was calling you to ask you if you would like some company later, maybe get a bite to eat?”

“Okay, well what time were you thinking?” I asked him.

“Is 7:30 good for you?”

“Yeah that works for me. I think I can be ready by then,” I said.

“Good, then I’ll pick you up around 7:30 and we can be in and out at the Taco Bell so you don’t even have to dress up. Just put on a lil Hanes jogging suit,” Terry joked.

“Taco Bell? No yo gusto Taco Bell,” I said in some torn up Spanish.

“Naw, I’m just messing with you, Baby. You know I gotta take my baby somewhere nice. I mean at least McDonald’s,” Terry said as he laughed “I wanted to go to Maggiano’s or Cheesecake Factory or something if that’s cool with you. P.F. Chang’s sounds good to me too though. I’ll have it knocked down to one by the time I pick you up. Or if you have a preference, let me know.”

“No, you can decide where you want to go. All three sound scrumptious to me,” I said.

“Cool, so what are you up to right now?” Terry asked.

“I’m on my way to brunch with a few friends. How about you?”

“Oh, I’m going to go get a quick bite and go by the office and pick up a few docs I needed,” he said. “You know I’m still trying to get over your beautiful, mesmerizing voice. I absolutely loved it. I can’t wait to see you and spend time with you. Something happens to me when I’m with you. I don’t know how to explain it. I just know it’s because I’m with you.”

“Aw, Terry, I owe you another hug and kiss for that. I can’t wait to see you either. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you and just how elated I am you enjoyed my singing so much. And you know what? Something happens to me when I’m with you too. You just know how to make a girl feel special. I’m really liking this,” I said “Now, you won’t be able to stop now that you’ve started me with all these compliments and being all sweet to me.”

“Good, that’s exactly what I wanted and believe me it gets better because I do mean every word I say Sweetie,” said Terry. “I’ll be ready for my hug and kiss too. So, I’ll see you a little later on then.”

“Okay, see you later,” I said.

I hung up the phone with a smile on my face once again. Terry was doing the right things, saying the right words, and being the right man. Could it be he was Mr. Just Right For Me? This was definitely what I prayed for, what I had dreamed about, and now that it was quickly becoming a reality for me, I could hardly believe that all of this was happening, but it was. Terry actually said he couldn’t wait to see me and just spend time with me. That was enough to not only make me smile, but put me on a natural high, one that made me want to sing so that’s what I did.

Click Here –>Video: With You - Chris Brown

Photo: www.chrisbrownworld.com

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

Episode 18: Whatever You Want

After church, I met up with a few friends, including Narika and we decided to go have brunch at J. Christopher’s, a nice little spot that served breakfast so good that people waited in long lines outside the door to get in there.

Kailee was a single mom of two, but her ex husband, Jonathan, had custody of her 2 boys and he recently remarried. Kailee had joint custody, so she got the kids during the summer. She was devastated when Jonathan got remarried last year. She was secretly hoping they could get back together, but that never happened. Of course, I kept telling her it was time to let go, especially after Jon had announced his engagement at the Christmas party last year and his wife-to-be flaunted a sparkling, blinding almost five carat diamond ring complete with baguettes. Kailee didn’t attend the party because she wanted to spend time with her kids but Bianca and I were her official reporters. Needless to say she didn’t like our report. I was proud of Kailee though because she did finally start dating a guy she met at the park one day when she had the kids for the weekend. His name was Neil and he was divorced too, with three kids. His wife had custody and it was his weekend with the kids so they started talking as they watched the kids play together. They ended up exchanging email addresses, then phone numbers, and eventually went on a child free date.

Kailee seemed happier now and I was happy for her. I spend countless nights at her house and on the phone consoling her about Jon’s new marriage. But it wasn’t her fault because Jon was unfaithful less than a year after their marriage. However, he was more stable in providing for the boys so Kailee gave him custody. He still has to pay her alimony though because he was unfaithful.

Bianca, the youngest of all of us, she was married to Brock, a dentist. Bianca was a teacher and she absolutely loved it. I always told her, I didn’t know how she did that job everyday. She had the patience of Job and that was part of it but, that is a job I couldn’t do, especially since you can’t whip kids at school anymore.

Brock was out of town giving a lecture so we were graced with Bianca’s presence for brunch. Otherwise, she would politely dis us and go have dinner with her hubby. We all understood that though because I already told them that if and when I got involved with a nice man, I was going to trade them in for my new man.

The four of us had been friends for the past few years. Narika and I were friends first and we met both Kailee and Bianca two years ago at a game night party. We started hanging out and just clicked. They were good people and great friends.

“So Syrah, you have to tell us about this new man of yours,” said Kailee.

“Yeah, we need all the details and what his intentions are with you too,” Bianca chimed in.

“I’m sure both of you have talked to Miss Narika here. I’m sure she told you,” I said.

“See, I didn’t tell them. Well, not everything,” Narika said as we all laughed.

“Well, he’s just wonderful and I haven’t had this much fun in a while. I haven’t felt this good about any man for the longest time, and he’s been so good to me. Next weekend we’re going to an All White Party and I can meet some music industry folks. I am really happy so far so keep praying for a sista! Naw, I think Terry’s a good guy and it’s been so long since I felt so right. Terry is the guy that doesn’t mind giving you whatever good thing it is you want, but by no means is he a pushover. You know I can’t stand that weakness. I really do believe he’s a keeper,” I said.

“Ooo, girl he sounds nice and I can’t wait to meet him,” said Bianca “It might be time for me to host another one of my famous dinner parties at the Russells. I’ll tell Brock as soon as I get home and start the invitations.”

“Yeah, maybe Brock can give us some free tooth whitenings on the side,” said Narika.

“Whatever,” said Bianca “You gotta stop trying to get free dental services now, dang. But if you have some good insurance, we might be able to work out a deal for you.”

We all laughed and decided to head out for brunch. It was good to see my friends again and for all of us to spend time catching each other up on our lives. Telling them about Terry was a blissful thing and I was smiling from the inside out. This was something I prayed to be able to finally do for the longest time.

Click Here–>Video: Whatever You Want - Tony! Toni! Tone!

Photo: www.vh1.com

© 2008 by Satirah.  All rights reserved.

Episode 17: Apologize

Sunday morning arrived way too fast, probably because of the early morning sleep interruption from Kevin. Maybe I should put his name on the prayer list, I thought to myself. I had to laugh out loud (LOL) on that one.

I took a shower and got dressed in a cute little black number I had forgotten I had in the closet, since I thought maybe I’d be running a little behind schedule. I was taking a last look in the mirror with clutch purse in hand when I got a phone call.

“What’s up girl?”

It was Narika. She sounded wide awake and like her old self so I was thinking maybe she was doing well despite the situation with her and her ex, Rayshon.

“Hey Narika. How are you? Everything okay?” I asked.

“Syrah girl, I’m good but, the saga continues! I am about to get a restraining order against Rayshon if he comes back over here one more time. He has apologized so much this weekend, I don’t know what to do. Let me tell you what he did girl. He had 7 dozen roses sent over here and on each vase there was one letter that spelled “I’m Sorry” and he is sorry, sorry as a heater in hell. He is the sorriest punk of an excuse for a man I ever knew in my life. I don’t care about his lil flowers. He should have thought about that before he decided to play ball for the other team and get turned out! I can’t believe him and I had my baby girl around him. No wonder he could do her hair better than me! You know what I’m saying?” Narika said with frustration in her voice.

“I hear you girl,” I said “He needs to just let it go and keep it moving because after something like this, you can’t trust him anymore. Besides, you know he’s not the only man on the planet for you and you can do much better. You remember when you kept telling me you thought there was something about him you didn’t get? Well, your intuitions were right.”

“Yeah and I wish I would’ve started investigating then! I would’ve known he was Rayshona instead of Rayshon. He is getting on my last nerve. I told him over and over it’s too late to apologize! I can’t stand him and like I said if he comes by here one more time, I’m calling Fulton County police and I’ll tell them that Tinkerbell has me afraid for my life and me and my child are in clear and present danger. I already told him I was going to sue him for harassment because he kept texting me, calling me, and leaving me messages on my voicemail. Oh and I told him I would bust every piece of glass on that broke down Mercedes too if he came by here again. I’ll bust out the sunroof, all the windows and the lights too! Oh and he knows I keep my baseball bat by the door too, so he know what’s up and I will do it! Don’t play with me! I can show him crazy!” she said as she started to laugh

“Girl he is sounding like he is borderline crazy. Speaking of crazy, how about Kevin called me at 3 something this morning,” I announced “You know I haven’t heard from him in 3 years.”

“What? Well what is really going on? Kev was my boy though Syrah,” said Narika. I could tell she was smiling too.

“Well, you know your boy was wrong though for the way things went down,” I said “Kev was not committed to anyone but himself and you know I wasn’t going for that.”

“I know girl. I lost respect for him after that though because I thought he was cool. So what did he say? What did he want?” she asked.

“Well, he pulled a Rayshon, called himself apologizing for some 3 year old drama and confessing his undying love for me until I told him I was seeing someone. Then his head must have spun around and he got straight evil on me. He told me he knew I was seeing Terry and got heated. You know I had to laugh in his ear after that because he went off the deep end. I could hear how he just flipped. I think he was drinking and he started talking crazy.” I explained.

“Dang girl! He is still off the chain then, huh?” said Narika “Begging like that liar, Rayshon, huh? Well that’s just too bad… should’ve thought about that before their cheatin behinds got busted! It’s too way late to apologize!”

Narika and I talked a little more as I made my way to church.  She said she was on her way too.  I told her we’d be just fine and both Rayshon and Kevin needed to walk on.  It’s not surprising though that they finally realized what they risked was too much for them to lose.  But in the process, too much hurt and breach of trust that would never be repaired cause the severing of the relationships.  Yes, we accepted apologies and forgave them, but it still hurt.  Yes, we accepted apologies, but let them go.  So Narika was right.  It was too late then and it’s too late now to apologize.

Click Here–> Video: Apologize- Timbaland featuring One Republic

Photo: www.onerepublic.net

© 2008 by Satirah. All rights reserved.

Episode 16: I Remember

“Look Kevin, I am not interested in getting back with you after all we’ve been through. Plus, you can’t call me at a decent time. This is ridiculous. Seriously, are you drunk? Look, I forgive you and all but believe me, it’s been over 3 years and all of this is behind me in the past where it should be. I absolutely don’t feel anything for you anymore. You did me so wrong and I remember that. So I gave up on us a long time ago Kevin. Please just let this go,” I said.

“But Syrah, I need you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I know this now. I’m not the same anymore. I was stupid for what I did and I know I messed up. Just give me another chance,” Kevin begged.

“I’m flattered Kevin but, I don’t love you. I don’t want you and don’t need you. I’m not the same person and I don’t feel the same way. We can’t just start over like that because I don’t trust you. Besides, I’m seeing someone and I’m very happy with him,” I said.

Then the evil started coming out of Kevin. He showed his true colors like I was thinking he would after a few minutes. He had not changed. He started cussing and yelling. I thought it was funny so I started laughing. That made him even more furious.
“I know you’re seeing that punk, no good for nothing Terry Taylor. He ain’t nothin. You ain’t nothin either. So yall belong together then,” said Kevin angrily.

Now how did he know about Terry, I thought to myself. This man is crazy.

“I was wondering when the real you would show up. Kevin, don’t ever try this mess with me again and go get some help from somewhere because you sound like you’ve been drinking. Still on the bottle, huh? Kevin, you are trifling for this and pitiful and you need to do something about that. As a matter of fact, don’t ever, ever in this lifetime or the next, call me again,” I said and then hung up the phone.

That felt great! I never got a chance to do that before and I finally told him what I thought.

I remember the nights I cried over Kevin 3 years ago. Kevin and I had dated for 2 years and we were close. I guess not close enough though. It was one of the worst times of my life because I didn’t just lose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend after this. I even had to go see a counselor about it too. It seemed like I was sad and lonely for so long. I prayed and prayed to God to help me feel better everyday. He helped me I got better and stronger and the hurt faded away. My heart was bruised but not broken and it was extremely hard to get over Kevin because I trusted him with so much but I got over. I moved on with my life after about 3 months of depression and a few counseling sessions.

That was then. Now I was happy and I smiled when I thought about Terry as I closed my eyes to go back to sleep. I was going to have to call Narika in the morning to tell her about this nut that called me.

It’s funny how when you’re happy with someone new, “old flames” try to reignite themselves. They must sense it in the atmosphere that you’re happy so they try to sabotage it and claim they want you back. That’s the oldest trick ever. Unfortunately for Kevin, his little fake plea did not work at all. I remember what happened between us, but I had long forgiven him and forgotten the way it felt and how it hurt me. For me to be able to tell Kevin to get lost in so many words was proof that I was totally healed from that hurt even though I remember.

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